Index of Food

The empty, hedonistic life of Mysteries Inc.—an endless round of beach parties, malt shop runs, and excursions to distant portions of the United States and international territories—is often remarked upon by observers of the series, as is the truly gargantuan appetite exhibited by Norville Rogers. In commentaries, the two are often connected, usually by the hypothesis that the gang derives its income from a lucrative trade in the sale of those illicit substances that Shaggy does not himself consume.

Probing deeper, however, I wonder if we cannot discover a more powerful, psychoanalytic explanation. The Mysteries Inc. kids engage in no formal schooling, nor do they hold gainful employment. They are of an indeterminate age, yet despite being referred to as "kids" do not resemble teens. Instead, they seem to exist in a kind of infantilized adulthood, free to expose adults who are responsible enough to have chosen a life of crime and to humiliate the law enforcement officers who have failed to bring these malefactors to justice. They are adults who have not attained the full trappings of adulthood.

I conjecture, then, that in Scooby Doo, Where Are You? we are witnessing a sophisticated representation of an Oedipal struggle, in which the main characters are attempting to become adults themselves by metaphorically "killing" the adult figures in their lives. (The continuing "mystery" inherent in the series is: How can a late twentieth century American bourgeois become a full and mature person?) Ultimately, the series chronicles their continuing failure to achieve adulthood, no matter how many criminals they catch and sheriff's deputies they upstage, and their ritualistic behavior stands exposed as a sad gesture, an impotent substitute for the simple expedient of taking up a responsible existence. The fact that thirty-five years on they are still recapitulating the same transparent avoidance of growing up only confirms the pathetic nature of their Peter Pan–like existence. Where are their own children? I'm sorry to say so, but: Velma, surely you are post-menopausal by now, assuming you weren't even back then.

And their fascination with food? Make no mistake, they are all fascinated by it, as evidenced by the way Fred, Daphne, and Velma studiously avoid eating on camera. Hypothesis: Daphne is anorexic, Velma's shapeless sweaters betray an embarrassment of her own body, and Fred's bulging pectorals and trim tummy confirm him as an exercise fetishist. Only Shaggy and Scooby are honest enough to act out their attempt to fill an empty spiritual void by filling their stomachs with high-calorie snacks. It might also be a displaced desire to return to infancy and the comfort of breast-feeding.

Below is a catalog of the various foodstuffs prepared and consumed in Scooby Doo, Where Are You? Calories are estimated, correcting somewhat for cartoon exaggeration. "Monster-cize" estimates the amount of terrified running Shaggy would have to do in order to burn off the meal.

Oh, and the caloric value of this introduction? 8900 empty calories. That's almost 15 hours of hard exercise. You can start by dropping and giving me twenty.


Item: Double triple-decker sardine and marshmallow fudge sandwich
Episode: "Hassle in the Castle"
Calories: 6500
Monster-cize: 10 hours, 50 minutes
Item: Ham sandwich
Episode: "Hassle in the Castle"
Calories: 600
Monster-cize: 1 hour
Item: Hot dog (1)
Episode: "A Clue for Scooby Doo"
Calories: 260
Monster-cize: 25 minutes
Item: Jumbo pink lemonade
Episode: "A Clue for Scooby Doo"
Calories: 800
Monster-cize: 1 hour, 20 minutes
Item: Apple
Episode: "Mine Your Own Business"
Calories: 80
Monster-cize: 8 minutes
Item: Frankfurters (1)
Episode: "Decoy for a Dognapper"
Calories: 190
Monster-cize: 19 minutes
Item: Sandwich
Episode: "Decoy for a Dognapper"
Calories: 3000
Monster-cize: 5 hours
Item: Sandwich
Episode: "What the Hex Going On?"
Calories: 3000
Monster-cize: 5 hours
Item: Bone
Episode: "What the Hex Going On?"
Calories: 0
Monster-cize: 0 minutes

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